There’s Light in Darkness; I Think.

Hello! Um, I think I need to issue a warning on this piece. It is very dark. Suicide, death and dying is in it yet has some hope thrown in too. So, It’s entirely up to you if you want to go ahead and read it 🙂

This photo prompt is provided by FFFAW and you can find the weekly prompt challenge here 🙂

 

Genres: Dark/Disturbing, Tragedy & Psychological

 

 

The darkness and desolation mirror my soul: hopeless, fearful and alone. But, a light keeps moving me forward even though I wish it would dim. I truly want to die but I also want to live. The ambivalence drives me insane. Why can’t I decide once and for all one way or the other? My friend says to me “don’t do it” and I think great, I chose death and now he’s stolen the moment: I hate it when he says something to stop me. Why can’t I just go?

But, however dark I feel, how void of hope I am, that light always remains, illuminating a small spot within me. In the end, I hope I’ll find meaning from my pain and the struggles I’ve had. And If I do and if I can do good, then my life will have been worth it and I’ll have finally found my peace – that’s the plan, anyway.

 

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The Still Wait

Genre: Tragedy, Psychological

 

Photo source

The Still Wait

 

Alone. I love breathing this air. I feel at peace.

I’m gonna walk down that grass dip to the lake, and no-one will even have an idea why I am here, and then I’ll be still.

No more worries, no more cares, just me, me on my own. No more friends, No more parents, No more fellow survivors. No-one anymore. Nobody. Just me.

The sun rising is beautiful.

As I breathe in the air, my mind free’s.

Ahhh, the fresh air. The peace.

I won’t look behind me. Nor will I retreat.

Damn, this lager is strong; now I know why alckies drink the stuff. Urgh, but it’s done its dues and I am woozy.

I’ll start to get going. Down the grassy hill.

*

 

Standing at the lake’s edge, I peer down and see my reflection rippled by the waters natural movement, I swallow the last handful of tranq’s: How well they work with alcohol.

For a while, at least.

I step one foot then another into the cold lake. I’m warm.

I can feel myself beginning to unsteady. Thoughts are hard. I barely notice my breaths as my body starts to will itself to fall. Must go in further. Each step is lifting lead.

I am fully affected by the drugs and drink now. I’m weak. I’m tired. Things are blackening around me. I carry on; well I think I do.

Then I think my final thought before I eventually fall:

‘God, Why? – Why?’

 

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