Precipice

Sometimes I feel that my writing is about to take a nose dive off of a very steep cliff. Maybe I should free fall and just see where the wind guides me. I guess it’s then up to me, as I’m falling anyway, to choose a better decent. That sounds negative, but I’m going down regardless, so I may as well make it as comfortable as I can.

The last few days my words wouldn’t come. I could think of nothing much to write. And what I did do, was done in haste and I was unhappy with it. Today is the same, I couldn’t find anything to say. So, as I was falling off the ledge anyway, I thought of a way to make the most of it… And this is what I have.

I don’t want that steep drop to beat me as it has done in the past. Months without writing because I had broken too many bones when I hit the ground. This piece may not be much good, but I’m the one in control of the descent… for today at least.

I don’t know what picked me back up before. Maybe because I didn’t quit. And I hung in there. Perhaps.

I may never write a good story again. But then again, I might. It’s just painful when I can’t sit and write. I care enough and I guess that’s why it hurts.

Hopefully, this fall won’t shatter me too badly again. And on hitting the ground, maybe I’ll be lucky and get away with just bruises this time. And if I can crawl back up relatively uninjured then free-falling into the wind might be the answer. That’s what I hope.

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Today, The Daily Post provided the word prompt: Precipice. If you’d like to visit the prompt page and read other’s fab words, you can do so by Clicking Here 🙂

Bitter

She was bitter. Why? Because she woke up.

Her life was a tragedy. Abused physically, emotionally and sexually. Her life was filled with depression, the earliest memory of feeling so unhappy she could remember, was when she was 6. The children in the playground made her even sadder. She envied them. The laughter, the playing and their freedom. She never knew these things.

And as she grew older she knew she wouldn’t have a good life.

And so it was in her late teens that she realised her life was too painful. Her boyfriend was unsupportive. He didn’t have a job. He was a thief and an addict. But she loved him. Well, she thought she did.

One night she realised this was not the life she wanted. But because of her childhood trauma, she knew there wasn’t a better life she could move on to. It was hopeless. So she decided to end her life.

After 2 weeks of preparation, she now had the cocktail of drugs she needed. Some from the Doctor’s and some she had bought. Her partner was scoring at the time, at someone’s home an hour away from theirs. She made up a lie and left her boyfriend there.

She got home and she swallowed every single pill.

She was in the intensive care unit, unconscious, for a week. Her parents visited daily. Her mum would talk to her non-stop. There was a part of her that could hear because tears would run down her face when her mum told her how much she was loved.

On her release from the mental health unit she was sectioned to, she saw her Psychiatrist the next day. She was angry. “Why the fuck did I wake up?! She yelled.

The biggest regret of her entire life was that she never died.

She came close to it again recently. But something had changed. She didn’t want to kill herself, she wanted a shot at happiness. And since that moment, her life got better.

She needed to and had to come that close again. Because it was in that moment she finally decided one way or the other: live or to die.

She chose to live.

 

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Today’s prompt is from The Daily Post and is the word ‘Bitter’. You can view the post by clicking here and to check out what everyone else has written using today’s Word Prompt! 🙂

None 

No writing a post today. I was going to, but I became annoyed.

Last night I decided I would write for today’s DP prompt. But I’m too annoyed.

My ancient iPad has really been annoying me. I had no choice but to reset the entire device which I did only a few hours ago. It now runs better. I’m installing just the essentials, just the minimal of apps to keep it running smooth. It really is an ancient tab.

I check the time. It’s 3.30 pm. Where the heck is the DP prompt? Gmail is reinstalled. Accounts are all working. My notifications are all correctly set up. DP post is really late today: way too late. I better double-check.

No DP prompt post turns into a DP post my Gmail did ‘Not’ notify me of! Every other email received, failed not to alert me. I was so annoyed. I can’t write a post now, I’m really too annoyed! I can’t think now. And as I can’t, I’ll pop over to DP and read what others have formulated from the prompt ‘None’.

Ooh, what equally lovely, great, interesting and informative posts I’ve read! Poems beautifully written. The shortest post I’ve ever read. A wonderful post on the Honey Bee. And a post I did not get.

My annoyance had quietly passed.

And I decided to write.

Now I have a post. Though earlier thinking there really would be ‘None’!

 

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Today’s Daily Post Prompt: None. Visit The Daily Post by clicking here. You can find here everyone’s own unique, post response to the word ‘None’ 🙂 

None

Quick Tip: Tagging for Shelf Life

Inspired by a few comments I’d read in First Friday and the importance of tagging, especially the golden rule of using only 15 including categories. I asked Michelle W at WP headquarters to write a post on this and she linked me to this already written post that explains the how’s and why’s about tagging. I’ve reblogged to help spread the info.

The Daily Post

Tagging? Again?!”

Well, yes — because nothing makes me sadder than finding a well-crafted post, only to scroll down to the bottom of the page and find that it’s badly tagged or — shudders! — untagged. (Ok, a few things make me sadder. But still.)

The reason for my sadness? I know that while I may have found the post and enjoyed it, many others — especially bloggers who rely on the WordPress.com Reader — won’t.

Tagging is so important not only because it brings your site traffic (though that’s important for many, of course), but also because it can bring you the right kind of traffic. It connects you to people who are passionate about the same topics as you, and who might belong to online communities you want to tap into.

Sweet fifteen

You may have already heard the cardinal rule of tagging on WordPress.com, but it’s…

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‘Links to Writing Prompts’ – Page Now Up

 

Dear Readers,

 

I’ve created a Page dedicated to Links for Writing Prompts. You can access it if you click here as well as see it on my sites menu bar.

I’ve included Websites, Android Apps and IOS App info.

Writing Prompts help get you out of being stuck. They help with Writer’s Block. And they are also fun!

I hope you find it useful.

 

Victoria 🙂

“Just Write”! – that’s all!

So there I was utterly convinced  (and there was no changing my mind about this) that in order for me to be any sort of writer I must have some writing related qualifications under my belt.

I cannot believe what an idiot I’ve been. I honestly thought a Creative writing Diploma or a Degree in English was the only way I was ever going to improve. The truth, though, is that they made my writing worse up to the point of there being no writing at all.

There’s something about being told how to do something and learning the technicalities of it versus actually doing the thing you’re learning about. These courses just made me scratch my head and say “Qué”? (I also felt like I needed a degree just to do a degree). And creative writing is what it is writing creatively so how can formulas and methods live happily by the side of that creativeness and imagination?… It can’t – at least I don’t think it can. And no amount of technical know-how is going to make you produce something that, in essence, is a right-brained process. It’s like oil and water – they just don’t mix.

So there I was thinking that there must be something seriously wrong with me because I couldn’t grasp all of these terminologies, guidelines, rules, structures and formulas and I was left feeling like a total failure. In short: These writing courses did the complete opposite of what I originally wanted them to do and they made my self-doubt and writers block a 100 times worse.

And here I am now, on the road to regaining my sanity. And trying to do what I was doing before all this ‘qualification necessity’ madness began: So I’m sitting down and I’m writing – which was all I needed to do in the first place (duh).

I’ve looked back over my blog to the stories I’ve wrote in the early days and most are shockingly bad! But, that’s expected so I’m not too upset and I feel quite good about the progress I’ve made (my writing sucks less! – I still suck, just not as much!). And, the most important thing is that I am still learning – maybe not from doing a Uni course, but actively in other ways which suit me.

So…. I had bit of a ‘tale-between-the-legs’ feeling before I wrote this purely because I didn’t listen to everyone who said I was good enough. So, at the moment, I’m a bit sheepish.

So, on that note, Thank You very much for having a read, leave me a comment if you wish and hopefully I will ‘see’ you back here very soon!

Take good care and have a fab week,

Vic 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Finally I’m Studying!

Hi guys!

Finally I am doing something about my writing….

I’ve started an online specialization course in Creative Writing from Wesleyan University which runs for about 6 months.  We are in the 2nd week, but I can still go at my own pace as long as the assignments are in by the due dates.

For me this is the most suitable option as I don’t have to travel for 90 minutes – and late at night – to the closest college around. Or get into 1000’s of pounds worth of debt going to Uni for a degree. Not only that, there is very little choice of what specifically you want to study, the Creative Writing degrees contain many elements that are of no interest.

No, studying this way is perfect for me…. And finding an appropriate course has been a long time coming – I believe I wrote about this subject over 6 – 12 months ago. So, yes, it’s taken a while. But finally! I have found the ideal course! (there’s a ‘moral of the story’ in that: never give up on what you want 🙂 )

So I’m all happy and all excited and feeling very fortunate to have finally found something where I actually learn some things in what I like doing.  And it feels right, I know I’m going to complete it – the course content is too valuable not to.

So, hopefully my confidence and self-belief will grow and I become more proficient and better as a writer!

Have a great rest of weekend guys and Thanks for reading! 🙂 🙂 🙂